tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42992306456066461302024-01-26T08:00:07.899-08:00Should I circumcise?Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-31626132545246072312015-01-03T11:55:00.000-08:002015-01-03T11:55:00.265-08:00Fathers and SonsI'm glad that despite my neglect of this blog some people are still reading and commenting. It's interesting that even when life gets in the way of my writing I'm inevitably reminded that yes, I'm still circumcised.<br />
<br />
I've made efforts to restore my foreskin with varying levels of dedication and success. I definitely have more sensation than I used to before I started down this road but recent changes in my restoration practices have led my progress to taper off. This is, to say the least, frustrating. I have weeks where I'm very consistent and motivated and I read about others who have completed their restoration and I feel confident I'm going to get there. But other times I stop and look down and dwell on the absurdity of it all. Why did someone think this was a good idea to do this to me? Why do I have this bullshit to deal with? Why do I have to wear a suspender over my shoulder and a TLC tugger on my penis at night if I want to experience the level of sensitivity during sex I am now accustomed to? Why did I have to lose some of that sensitivity when I stopped restoring during the day due to a new job without a private office? In general, "what the fuck?" is what I ask myself during those moments. <br />
<br />
If I had made the decision of my own accord to remand myself to this circumscribed (get it?) level of sensitivity I could live with it more easily. If I had some kind of congenital defect I could live with it more easily. I could even live with it if I had lost my foreskin in a bizarre car accident. But I didn't. Some doctor hacked it off and sent it to Bath and Body Works without even giving it a second thought. That's what messes with me. I have to go through all of this because of my parents' decision and that guy. <br />
<br />
Of course, this is part of the reason why I receive many comments from people who say they are happy the way they are. Indeed, some of them are so "happy" they shout from the rooftops about how great circumcision is and how they plan to circumcise every male child they are ever blessed with. As much as continuing the cycle of violence disgusts me I can understand where these guys are coming from. It was so much easier when I didn't think there was anything wrong with me, when I thought it wasn't a "big deal." Once you take these people down the road of really, truly thinking about what was done to them and why, they tend to exit the conversation or get super hostile. They just don't want to go there. They know on a primal, subconscious level how bad it's going to be if they go there.<br />
<br />
But we as men have a duty to protect not just ourselves, but our children. That was when my delusions ended: when I had a son. For the first time I had to really truly think about why my penis looks the way it does and whether I wanted to have part of my son's penis cut off as well. Needless to say my wife and I decided that was NOT going to happen. Why would I cause pain and trauma to this tiny being that only just entered the world? Why would I remove part of his body that had nothing wrong with it?<br />
<br />
As fathers our job is to protect our sons. If we remain unhealed from our own traumas we risk revisiting them on the ones we love. So if you think you're happy with the way you are. That's great, I'm glad. I'm not interested in trying to force anyone to walk the path I've chosen. But if you want to be a good father and an ethical human being than you have to realize that when someone is holding a scalpel over your infant son's penis and he is screaming and crying while he is strapped to that goddamned circumstraint it's not about protecting you. It's about protecting him.<br />
<br />
<br />Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-37506377722699781752013-12-27T12:49:00.003-08:002013-12-27T13:03:47.509-08:00Born Perfect<div class="MsoNormal">
I took some time away from activism. In August my family and I set
off on an extended road trip across the United States and for four months I didn’t read or write about circumcision. Every day was an unpredictable adventure and
we often camped in places that had no electricity much less a wireless
signal. When I did have time to write
and a signal to upload it I was focused on keeping our travel blog
take5foradventure (see link at right) up to date. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now that we’ve arrived in Arizona our travels are on pause
and one morning when I wasn’t busy job searching in our new town it occurred to
me how long it had been since I had posted anything related to
circumcision. I took a moment for personal
inventory and paused to reflect on the
insights I had gained in our four months of travel. Was doing my personal part to end
circumcision still important to me? Had
I lost my fire on that front after taking a proverbial vacation from it for a
while?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A wry smile crossed my face as I shook my head to
myself. I still feel as passionate as
ever about protecting the right to intact genitalia for all human
children. How could I lose that fire
when every day about 3-5 times a day I hold my circumcised penis in my right
hand and aim it at the toilet? Every
time I change my clothes I look down at the ring-shaped scar on my shaft that
despite several years of restorative efforts is still there and always will be
even once it is covered up by extra skin I’ve forcibly trained my body to regrow. The idea that I would ever lose
sight of the importance of this cause no matter how long I took away from it
was a laughable one. Even if I wanted to try to forget my role in putting an end to circumcision I would still have to wake up every morning to someone else’s idea of how my body should look just like
millions of other boys and men do every day in the United States.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It sounds harsh but yes I’ve been altered to fit someone
else’s conception of how the male member of our species should look. Open up most medical textbooks and you’ll see
that the illustration of the penis with labeled anatomical parts is already circumcised. It’s like the foreskin was
never there, a mistake, a mutation that evolution somehow neglected to
eliminate via natural selection. So the
US medical establishment definitely had some say in how I ought to look. I’m sure every doctor and nurse involved with
the procedure at the time felt it was very important that this be done so that
weird piece of skin that there was absolutely nothing written about could be
wiped off the face of the Earth, freeing them from disturbing wonderings about
what it was for, or, if they were male, exactly what happened to theirs.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(On a side note back in September 2012 while I was manning a booth at the Mother Earth fair with the head of the NOCIRC PA chapter, Greg Hartley, I had an interesting
conversation with a guy who was a nurse. The guy had this big grin
on his face while we were talking and I could tell he thought I was pretty
ridiculous. He had a lot of reasons why
he thought circumcision was a good thing, many of them related to perceived
public health benefit. Rather than
exchange volleys of medical journal citations with him I thought I would
explore the ethical problems of removing part of a child’s genitalia without
their consent. He remained pretty
confident until I finally said, “But don’t you think it’s kind of weird that
someone cut off part of your dick and now you don’t know where it is. I mean, seriously, what did they do with it
do you think? Did they just throw it
away?” The color sort of drained out of
his face. He assured me the conversation
had been “interesting” and then left at what most would have considered a fast
walk, if not a run. So often I think the
worst things we do to children are done because we’ve never healed from the things
that were done to the children we used to be.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who else had a say in how I ought to look? Well Mom and Dad did. They had to sign off on the whole thing. I’ve never really known how much of that
decision was culled from medical coercion and how much was their idea because my
parents’ memories have fallen prey to a mixture of forgetfulness and wishful
thinking. I worked in social services
long enough to recognize the hollow perfection of a lie practiced on oneself. If you tell yourself something happened that
way enough times then eventually it really did happen that way. Regardless of the details at the very least they signed on the dotted
line to affirm that they agreed with the way the doctors thought I ought to
look.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And in the end that’s what circumcision is about, the question
of whether parents should have the right to decide which parts of the child’s
anatomy are worth keeping and which should be cut off in the name of religion,
supposed health benefits, or just protecting dear old dad’s ego. We’re not talking about a haircut or removing
an appendix that is about to burst and flood the abdominal cavity with
toxins. We’re talking about removing a
large section of very sensitive and useful tissue that has absolutely nothing
wrong with it. On the contrary it’s
essential equipment for the man to experience his full range of sexual
functioning and pleasure. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The bottom line is I don’t think other people should have
the right to decide the appearance or future function of a child’s sexual
anatomy. Every sane person on the face
of the Earth agrees that the idea of an adult fondling a child’s genitalia is inexcusable and wrong. How is cutting part of that
genitalia off acceptable? Because the
medical textbook says so? Because the
rabbi says so? Because dad and everyone
else in the family had it done to them so it must be ok? If you respect the sanctity of a child’s
body and right to self-determination then you see how perverse and self-serving
such ideas are.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So yes as someone who carries the scar born from other’s
ideas of how I should look I will always be an Intactivist. Once I truly admitted to myself what had been done to me my membership in the movement to end circumcision became inescapable. While I can’t ever regain the original
appearance of my body I can partner with others to someday create a world in which
no child will have to wonder what happened to part of their sexual genitalia or
why.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX4WRsUoN330ApIX85NeU94zP0x12mtGUr9XT6nprUz3xIKHoOoMlS3zfBr1sxdIYDZHihLLskjWEFMyKA55nd1FE54IG818QzwewkXb5dP6FhlbNxEzobW3hwfKpOeVebuZvp87xpwtc/s1600/dad+and+sully.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX4WRsUoN330ApIX85NeU94zP0x12mtGUr9XT6nprUz3xIKHoOoMlS3zfBr1sxdIYDZHihLLskjWEFMyKA55nd1FE54IG818QzwewkXb5dP6FhlbNxEzobW3hwfKpOeVebuZvp87xpwtc/s1600/dad+and+sully.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My son was born perfect.
He should be the one to decide if he ever wants to alter how his sexual
anatomy looks and functions, not me. <o:p></o:p></div>
Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-8913940994670591612013-07-29T21:34:00.004-07:002013-07-29T21:34:52.008-07:00Something BAD is going to happen!Has anyone out there NOT seen "Ferris Bueller's Day Off?" I think that's a fairly safe pop culture reference to make, meaning I'm assuming/hoping even the young kids today have experienced the joy of seeing that great movie at least once. (Yes, this will tie into circumcision in a few moments believe it or not.) <br />
<br />
My wife and I have had a running joke over the years that she's the Ferris in our relationship and I'm the Cameron. In case you don't remember, Cameron is the one that Ferris has to drag kicking and screaming to ditch school, take in the art museum, the baseball game, the parade, and all the other fun stuff they do. Why is Cameron such a stick in the mud? Because he's worried something BAD will happen. This is captured powerfully in Cameron's fear of his father finding out he's driven the prized Ferrari that he ultimately admits is more important to his father than Cameron himself. When the car gets wrecked at the end Cameron finally faces his fear and realizes no matter what happens it can't be nearly as bad as he imagined it might be in his mind.<br />
<br />
As I've gotten older and realized how important it is I don't pass this "worrying" quality on to my children I've become more motivated to figure out where exactly these feelings come from. In short why have I been worried something bad would happen from a very, very young age? Hmmmm. Sure I got bullied a bit in grade school but I was a worrier even before that. I had my share of conflicts with my parents but nothing to go on "Oprah" about. Hmmmmm.<br />
<br />
OK, I know some people are going to think this is crazy but here it is: I think if you take a little baby only a few hours or a few days old away from his mother, strap him down to a plastic restraint, and cut off part of his dick, it traumatizes him. Trauma embeds in memory. (See previous posts or read current scholarly articles in mental health if you doubt this.) While that trauma was not something I remembered consciously it made what you might call an impression on me. I never really felt "safe." I was always waiting for something bad to happen (still am on bad days.) I'm just saying that maybe I felt that way because when I was a defenseless infant some asshole cut off part of my dick without asking my permission. I mean if that won't destroy your trust in the world I don't know what will.<br />
<br />
I know, I know... Your husband is circumcised and he's "fine." Your boyfriend is circumcised and he's "fine." You yourself are circumcised and you're "fine." All that I ask is that you seriously think about how this might impact other baby boys and think twice before you subject them to trauma they will have to continue to deal with their entire life. Why not let your baby boy have a default Ferris setting (life is fun) instead of having the default Cameron setting (life is gonna screw ya if you're not careful enough)?<br />
<br />
The irony of all this of course is that US medicine constantly offers a plethora of reasons why something bad WILL happen if you opt not to circumcise your child. Forget about the fact that the vast majority of men in the world are intact and just fine; in the US you are taught to believe that if you don't circumcise your son women won't want him, he'll get the ultra rare but scary sounding penile cancer, he'll get shmegma and annoy nurses who have to care for him when he ends up at a nursing home, and God knows how many other ridiculous rumors I haven't even heard. Well guess what? My son has been intact for six years and nothing "bad" has happened. Not to mention the fact he's happy and blissfully unaware of how lucky he is to have all of the body parts he was born with. It is my sincere hope he grows into a Ferris, just like his mom.<br />
<br />
I hope this doesn't sound whiny or like I'm using circumcision as a crutch for mistakes I've made in my life. I'm happy with who I am and the person I am still becoming. I just think it's important to think about where fear comes from. I felt a lot of fear when my wife and I made final preparations to quit our jobs and travel the US and beyond, but you know what? It didn't stop me from doing the things I want to do. As of 8/2 I'll be unemployed and a full-time blogger, writer, and adventurer.<br />
<br />
Please check out my recently published novel, <em>Schizo</em>, if you haven't already at:<br />
<a class="c_nobdr t_prs" href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E2EEODO" target="_blank"><span style="color: #0072c6;">http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E2EEODO</span></a><br />
<br />
Please follow our travel blog at: <br />
<a href="http://take5foradventure.blogspot.com/">http://take5foradventure.blogspot.com/</a><br />
<br />
Thanks for your support!<br />
<br />
Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-40974195247675557152013-04-02T20:20:00.004-07:002013-04-02T20:20:51.607-07:00Circumcision and TraumaI don't talk about it a lot on this blog but my day job is in the mental health field. Trauma informed care is the big buzz word in behavioral health practice right now. Finally doctors and clinicians are acknowledging the impact that trauma has on people's ability to cope with stress and function in general. The vast majority of people receiving mental health services are survivors of some kind of childhood trauma, typically physical or sexual abuse. Many researchers believe that when children experience trauma it affects their developing brains. There was a recent study called ACES that looked at how the number of Adverse Childhood Events a child experiences is directly related to the likelihood of them seeking mental health and/or drug and alcohol treatment as adults. More adverse events like sexual abuse, physical abuse, parent being drug addicted, death of parent, etc. means more likelihood that the person will develop mental health and/or substance abuse problems later in life. <br />
<br />
The reason all this is relevant to this blog is that circumcision is traumatic. Trauma is defined as an event that the person experiences where they feel a lack of control and fear that their life is in danger. It is also accompanied by a state of heightened central nervous system arousal, a fight or flight type response. The flood of chemicals released into the brain as a result of these periods of stress/arousal are what is believed to affect the child's developing brain. Advocates of circumcision often say it makes more sense to perform the procedure on an infant, that he won't remember it and it will be "just a snip" compared to what the experience would be like as an adult who was able to give consent to the procedure. Ironically, carrying out this violent, invasive surgery on an infant probably causes much more damage to the brain than if it were to be performed on a person old enough to consent.<br />
<br />
Circumcision undeniably creates a feeling of loss of control for the infant. Imagine just a few days after he has left his mother's womb he is taken from his mother's arms into a cold room. He is then strapped down to a hard plastic circumstraint or he is physically held down by a mohel. If this isn't a loss of control I don't know what is. Does he fear his life is in danger? Is an infant of only a few days able to fear? For years doctors argued newborns couldn't feel pain. That ridiculous notion was finally dispelled. As for fear, I think anyone who has heard an infant scream as he is strapped down, has his foreskin ripped away from the glans and then violently sliced off with a sharp instrument knows that child is afraid. That child is possessed by the innate understanding of the threat of violent death that has shaped the evolution of the human race. He knows his mother is safe and that the people that took him from her are hurting him. He is cold and frightened and by the time he is returned to her he will be missing an important part of his body. Soon what little relief the local anesthetic offered will wear off and he will scream as the sensitive and suddenly exposed glans chafes at his diaper. He will cry when his own urine burns the injury. The pain will interfere with his ability to concentrate on nursing leading to frustration for him and his mother. The only way he can survive is to teach himself not to think about it, to pretend that everything is ok. Many circumcised men will do this until the day they die.<br />
<br />
Circumcision is trauma. Trauma is proven to affect a baby's developing brain and to play a role in the development of mental health and/or substance use problems. Unfortunately your baby's developing brain is one more thing the AAP doesn't seem to give two shits about.<br />
<br />
Many survivors of childhood trauma have only vague memories of what was done to them. I've talked to hundreds of them over the years. Each has their own unique story but I can tell you it typically isn't a comfort to them if their memory of the event is fuzzy. They often wonder what other things were done to them. They wonder what precipitated the event, did they do something to "deserve" what happened to them? (The answer is always no but they speculate nonetheless.) Sometimes they wonder why they experience these abstract feelings that something is missing. So how can people really think that doing trauma to an infant is ok because they won't remember it? Is sexual abuse not as bad if it's done to a child that won't remember it? The trauma of circumcision is inscribed in an infant's developing brain just as surely as any other form of abuse.<br />
<br />
Trauma affects everyone differently. Not all combat vets develop post traumatic stress disorder. Likewise not all survivors of circumcision will go on to develop problems later in life. Indeed, many will use their ability to achieve ejaculation as proof that there's nothing wrong with them. Yet they carry what was done to them as surely as I carry what was done to me. I don't think about it every day, but sometimes when I'm taking a piss I look down at my penis in my hand. I'm happy with it: it's given me three children, it gives my wife and I pleasure, yet sometimes I look down at that desensitized, exposed glans and I say aloud, "What the fuck?" And I know that even if I work at restoring my foreskin for the rest of my life I'm always going to know what was done to me, that I was circumcised. And it will always hurt on some level. That's the nature of trauma.<br />
<br />
Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-78583474168955503932012-12-02T09:08:00.002-08:002012-12-02T09:08:26.113-08:00Religion and circumcisionThere is no religious justification for circumcision. Ever. Nope. Sorry. Did that piss you off? I don't care.<br />
<br />
It's fascinating to me when people try to use religion as grounds to defend circumcision. I had a conversation with someone about this just the other day. She told me why she thinks circumcision is wrong; however, she made sure to qualify that it should be allowed for religious reasons. I didn't argue the point with her because it was a coworker and I was afraid of being labeled as culturally insensitive or worse, anti-Semitic. Isn't that bullshit?! So because I didn't point out how illogical her reasoning was at the time like I should have I'm writing this blog post instead.<br />
<br />
Religion is an important part of many people's lives. Though I'm an atheist I recognize the healing power that faith can have for many people. I think religion is a great thing as long as it doesn't hurt other people. For example I don't practice Mormonism but I don't object to it either. However I DO object to the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Mormonism that was set up by Warren Jeffs and his followers and utilized as an excuse for the elders to have sex with underage girls at their compound. Thankfully, the American legal system also objected to it. They busted the FLDS compound and Jeffs is sitting in prison serving a life term for having sex with little girls. <br />
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I doubt there are many people out there that would say that Warren Jeffs having sex with an underage minor should be protected religious practice. Likewise here in the United States we would not support stoning to death as an appropriate punishment for adultery; however, there are numerous countries including Saudi Arabia that have stoning included as a form of punishment in the law. And there are even more countries where stoning is not technically legal but is frequently practiced, such as Afghanistan. Stoning is tied closely to religious belief in most of these countries. Stoning as a form of punishment runs deep in a number of religious texts including the Jewish Torah, the Islamic Hadith, and the Bible. But should stoning be protected as a religious practice? Of course not! <br />
<br />
So if having sex with little girls isn't protected religious practice and stoning adulterous women isn't a protected religious practice than why should circumcision be protected?<br />
<br />
"Circumcision is an important part of being Jewish."<br />
Jeffs probably said the same thing about having sex with little girls.<br />
<br />
"Circumcision has been practiced for thousands of years."<br />
so has stoning and polygamy<br />
<br />
"The state shouldn't be able to tell us how to raise our children"<br />
sure, as long as you aren't doing something that hurts the kids.<br />
<br />
And I suppose this is where I, yet again, have to fault the American medical community. One of the reasons circumcision IS protected here in the US is that, unfortunately, the American medical community has been telling Americans for years that circumcision is not harmful. And if you believe circumcision is not harmful than you probably believe that Jews ought to have a right to practice it if it's important to their religion. I don't have a problem with Jews requiring children to wear a yarmulka because it doesn't hurt them. My issue with circumcision is that it violates the child's body and affects his sexual experiences for the rest of his life. Thankfully, a growing number of Jewish people actually agree with me on this point and are foregoing the traditional bris for their newborn boys.<br />
<br />
So I guess the takeaway is this: if you believe circumcision is truly harmful you can't be half-assed and say it's ok for religious people to do it. It's either harmful and illegal or it's not harmful and protected.<br />
<br />
It is my belief that some day circumcision will be illegal in the United States and millions of people will continue to practice Judaism just fine. And people of ALL religious faiths and non-faiths will look back and say, "Why the hell did people think THAT was a good idea?"<br />
<br />
Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-82629850627991920882012-11-09T17:18:00.001-08:002012-11-09T17:18:21.481-08:00Circumcision and Female Genital MutilationPlease check out the newly developed and very easy to use genital mutilation comparison sheet before reading this post...<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<u>True for <strong>BOTH</strong> Male Genital Mutilation and Female Genital Mutilation</u><o:p></o:p><br />
Sometimes called "circumcision"<o:p></o:p><br />
Involves the cutting of part of the person's genitalia<o:p></o:p><br />
Alters the appearance of the person’s genitalia<o:p></o:p><br />
Typically causes some bleeding in the genital area<o:p></o:p><br />
Is often carried out without the consent of the person being cut<o:p></o:p><br />
Is supported by religious groups who believe its practice is important to their faith<o:p></o:p><br />
Is often described as a way to ensure "cleanliness" of the genital area<o:p></o:p><br />
Is sometimes described as a rite of passage<o:p></o:p><br />
Religious proponents say criminalization of the procedure infringes on the practice of their faith<o:p></o:p><br />
Negative effects are often downplayed by those that practice the procedure and those that have allowed it to be practiced on their children<o:p></o:p><br />
Reduces sensation/pleasure during sex<o:p></o:p><br />
Proponents claim it keeps various bad things from happening to the child<o:p></o:p><br />
Proponents express worry that if they don't cut the child it will affect how desirable the child is to the opposite sex<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<u>True for Male Genital Mutilation <strong>only</strong></u><o:p></o:p><br />
Legal in the United States<o:p></o:p><br />
Profitable for US medicine<o:p></o:p><br />
Endorsed by some US doctors<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<u>True for Female Genital Mutilation <strong>only</strong></u><o:p></o:p><br />
Illegal in the United States<o:p></o:p><br />
Not profitable for US medicine<o:p></o:p><br />
Not endorsed by US doctors<o:p></o:p><br />
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Why do so many people take issue with comparing the US male circumcision phenomenon with female genital mutilation that takes place in other parts of the world? The procedures are far more similar than they are different. To maintain that "circumcision" in the US is so much different than female genital mutilation is downright ethnocentric. Americans think it's different because they <strong>need</strong> it to be different. This is part of the cognitive dissonance that always permeates the circumcision debate. Americans who believe circumcision is a good thing for children believe so in part because it is what they know, it is the "right" thing, culturally speaking, to do. All the poorly supported medical research is just an excuse for them to do something they wanted to do anyway. (I'll bet if a doctor did research “proving” that keeping your son's hair short will help him do better in school, TONS of people in mainstream America would say that's why they cut their son's hair.) Thus when someone like me tries to tell them, "Hey did you know they do the same kind of thing to girls in other parts of the world?" they vehemently deny that it can't possibly be the same thing at all. People who cut female children are disgusting and backward but somehow those that cut male children are enlightened. To accept that these procedures are essentially the same thing is to accept that circumcision is a cultural practice and, as with many cultural practices, the people that practice them don't see them as culturally correct practices they see them as TRUTHS that are essential to survival. To accept that circumcision isn't a simple truth, that's it's not something they HAD to do is so frightening, so horrible they will go to <strong>any</strong> extreme to protect themselves from this reality. It is essential to all the cultural mores that define who they are and how they function in daily life to maintain the belief that female genital mutilation and male genital mutilation are two radically different things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, I hate to break it to ya… They’re not!<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />Let's be real: People have been cutting genitalia for thousands of years. Lots of different superstitions, religious beliefs, and cultural ideas have grown up around both male and female genital mutilation over the years but the essence of the practice remains the same: mutilators forever alter the child’s appearance and his/her future sexual experiences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those who facilitate or support mutilation of either sex do harm to children who can’t advocate for themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you’re going to be one of those people I say at least be consistent and support female genital mutilation too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Women and men are supposed to be equal after all. <o:p></o:p><br />
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Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-14578103940377234572012-09-06T12:17:00.003-07:002012-09-06T13:09:57.773-07:00Speak out against the AAPNow is a more important time than ever to speak up if you oppose routine infant circumcision. The new AAP statement could potentially do a lot of damage to the progress that has been made in reducing the rate of circumcision in the US. More babies will suffer circumcision and even death as a result of the AAP statement. There is hope though. In its infinite wisdom the AAP put out a statement back in 2010 advocating for laws to enable doctors to offer a "ritual nick" to families that wanted to circumcise their daughters. Fortunately, shortly after its release the backlash against this idea was so great that the AAP backed away from this statement. We need to create that same kind of backlash through letters, education, and every other kind of activism you can think of. Here are some ideas to start:<br />
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1) visit <a href="http://intactamerica.org/">Intact America's Website</a> to send a letter to the AAP.<br />
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2) read this <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/27/science/benefits-of-circumcision-outweigh-risks-pediatric-group-says.html?_r=1">NY Times article</a> It's actually a lot more balanced than NPR's coverage of the issue was and probably because of that many doctors have written to the NY Times in an effort to get them to retract parts of the article. Send a letter to the NY Times of 150 words or less and let them know why you disagree with the AAP policy. Here's a copy of the letter I wrote to them:<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Tahoma','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Greetings!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Tahoma','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">I was shocked and dismayed to hear the AAP had shifted its stance on infant circumcision. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Tahoma','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Regardless of what research the AAP trots out now or at any point in the future infant circumcision will always be unethical. Circumcision removes healthy tissue that is required for normal sexual function thus forever altering the appearance of the man's sex organs as well as his future sexual experiences. The AAP report does not consider the dramatic reduction in sexual sensation that circumcision always causes, much less the deaths and other serious complications that can also occur. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Tahoma','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Every child worldwide should have a right to intact genetalia. No one should have the right to alter a person's sex organs without his/her consent. As a survivor of circumcision I am angry this was done to me without my consent and I think it is unethical that the AAP supports such a practice.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Tahoma','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Jeff Sanger, MFA</span><br />
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3) Continue to talk to friends and family members that are of child-bearing age or are already pregnant, especially on twitter or facebook where others can view the info as well. Talk openly about the AAP policy shift and why you disagree. Direct them to websites and blogs (several good ones are listed on the right) that make it abundantly clear that circumcision is harmful and unethical.<br />
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4) Write a letter to your local newspaper or periodical editor as well expressing your views on the AAP changes and encouraging them to provide local coverage of the issue.<br />
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5) Don't be discouraged by the AAP. Just GET LOUDER.<br />
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Let's make it clear there are PLENTY of people in the US that disagree with what the AAP is doing. Shame on them indeed.Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-45432624732524360002012-08-27T07:42:00.001-07:002012-08-27T07:42:41.549-07:00Top Five refutations for AAP "evidence" for benefits of circumcisionMay I just say first, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH"<br />
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Why do these people want to cut baby penises so desperately? What is wrong with them? Their devotion to cutting child sex organs is simply fanatical.<br />
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The "evidence" the AAP has put forward in support of circumcision is so poorly supported they might as well have built a house of cards on a Florida beach in hurricane season. Just to prove that yours truly will now, despite my utter lack of medical training, refute some of the reasons the AAP has given for circumcision. I know it seems crazy but you don't need years of med school to figure this out. It just requires a little empathy, some ethics, and the ability to think for yourself.<br />
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1) "Circumcision helps prevent HIV/AIDS"<br />
I placed this at number one because physicians developed this idea in the hopes it would really grab people. HIV is not as scary of a subject as it was in the '80s and early '90s, but the idea that it can be prevented still gets people's attention. The problem is the studies they are basing this claim on are flawed. Don't even worry about the numerous articles in academic journals refuting the HIV/circumcision studies done in Africa, JUST USE YOUR BRAIN. The United States has six times the HIV rate of Sweden and 3 times the HIV rate of the Netherlands yet a far higher circumcision rate than either of those predominantly intact countries. Comparisons with other industrialized European nations yield the same outcome. What happened there? If circumcision <em>really</em> helped prevent HIV than Europe with all of its intact penises should have a higher infection rate than the thoroughly circumcised US shouldn't it? <br />
The truth is circumcision does NOT help prevent HIV. Just ask all the circumcised men in the US that are infected with HIV. If you want to prevent HIV transmission wear a condom.<br />
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2) "Circumcision helps prevent the spread of HPV"<br />
Since when do we as a society perform surgery on infants without their consent for the sake of public health initiatives? If it was discovered that the female labia helped promote the spread of HPV would the AAP promote the removal of the labia at birth? Oh heavens no that would be genital mutilation. How is removing part of a baby boy's penis any different? <br />
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3) "Intact penises are driving up health care costs"<br />
Hmmm. This got me thinking: how much does our country spend on breast cancer? I'm judging a lot just based on all the walks and ribbons that are out there. I'll bet if we removed breasts at birth that would save billions in health care costs. What, no one thinks that's a good idea? How about we remove everyone's appendix after birth so they don't have to worry about paying for emergency appendectomies in the future?<br />
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4) "Circumcision prevents UTIs"<br />
Seriously?!?!?! This is the reason Susan Blank leads with on her interview that was aired on NPR this morning? You're telling me the hope of preventing a minor infection is reason enough to perform surgery on a baby without his consent and remove part of his body that he needs for healthy sexual functioning? Are these people crazy? If they found out removing one of the male's testicles would forever cure the common cold, would you sign your baby up? Would you sign yourself up? How about your earlobe? What parts of your body are you willing to have cut off for some supposed medical benefit? It's a tough call isn't it? It's better to let your son make his own decisions about which parts of his body he wants to remove.<br />
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5) "Circumcision prevents penile cancer"<br />
Hmmm. I've heard mastectomies prevent the return of breast cancer but we don't do those at birth do we? I'll bet removing a boy's testicles at birth would prevent testicular cancer. What, you say he needs his testicles for healthy sexual functioning? News flash: he needs his foreskin for that too! Circumcision is the removal of healthy tissue that men need for good sexual functioning. In what other case do doctors remove healthy tissue to prevent cancer? I don't see anyone signing up for a proactive colostomy and TONS of people die of colon cancer. <br />
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The bottom line is male circumcision is something that, unfortunately, has been around for many years and people, usually ones that are themselves cut and/or do the cutting, are always looking for reasons to justify circumcision to salvage their ego and pad their wallets. Monetary concerns and ego drive the AAP's decision today NOT what is best for our sons. If you circumcise your child you take away his right to his whole body and you will forever alter his sexual identity and experiences. If you leave your child intact he can make his own choices about his body. If he disagrees with your decision then when he's 18 he can sign up for circumcision if he chooses. If you circumcise him at birth and he disagrees when he grows up there is nothing you can do to return that part of his body to him. (By the time he asks you where his foreskin went it will have already been sold for research or skin cream.)<br />
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This is not an issue of medical evidence. This is an issue of ethics. Do you trust doctors/mohels that are cut themselves and make money from cutting babies or do you trust independent researchers from intact countries and the millions of unpaid Intactivists working every day to spread information about why circumcision is wrong? Circumcision is yet another place to apply that old cliche: Follow the money.<br />
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Do I trust doctors? Sometimes. I trust a doctor to treat my trauma in an ER if I'm in a car accident. I trust him/her to mend my child's broken bone. But I always keep in mind that not all that long ago doctors used to say smoking was good for you. Doctors also used to put icepicks in people's brains to "cure" mental illness. And let's not forget they also used to think circumcision could "cure" masturbation or epilepsy. Doctors make mistakes just like other people do, especially when their own paychecks are involved.<br />
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<strong>Upton Sinclair</strong>: 'It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it.'<br />
Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-43392758118573570202012-08-20T07:59:00.001-07:002012-08-20T08:21:15.894-07:00Moms who regret circumcisingMany of us speak out about things that are important to us but how many of us are brave enough to speak out about a mistake we made? This is one of the most powerful ways to create change in my opinion, but it's unfortunately rare because most humans (myself included :)) are psychologically hard-wired to not enjoy admitting they are wrong. And therein lies one of the many challenges in stopping the practice of routine infant circumcision in the United States. Most people that have circumcised their sons are not particularly interested in considering the fact that they might have made a mistake. After all, it's done now, they can't take it back, why should they make themselves uncomfortable by considering the fact that they as a parent signed off on something that did real harm to their child? And so most of these parents go out of their way not to think about circumcision. They trivialize the procedure, mocking those that make a "big deal" out of it. Others advocate circumcision to pregnant family members and friends so that they can feel more secure about what they've already done to their child. After all, if their friend/relative doesn't circumcise his/her child that's going to force them to think about what they've done and then they'll feel uncomfortable. It's frightening the lengths people will go to just to avoid facing the horror of what they've done to their own child. These people are perpetuating a violent cycle just so they can avoid taking responsibility for their part in it.<br />
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But this post is not about those people. It is about the people that are really truly special and unique. The people who are brave enough to unflinchingly face a horrible mistake they made with their child and then speak out about it no matter how much much pain it may cause them to think and talk about it. When I talk to people about circumcision I use a variety of different methods depending on the parent and how well I know them, but none of the methods I use are as powerful as a loving mother standing up and saying, "I circumcised my son. I regret it every day and this is why." There is no mother that can ignore such a statement. She may argue but she cannot ignore.<br />
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Mothers who speak out about circumcision regret not only save future sons, they do honor to their own sons and men like me who are survivors of circumcision. They validate how what we have gone through is wrong and they give us, all of us, the apology we always deserved and never got. I didn't have the best experience when I tried to talk to my mother about circumcision. (I'll save the gory details for another post.) I actually felt worse for a while after talking to her about it, but every time I hear Jenny Vaughn or Marilyn Milos or any of these other brave moms speak up about how they wish they had not circumcised their sons it helps me heal. When I hear about the heartfelt apologies they offered their children it makes me feel better. When I hear about the work they do for Intactivism it gives me hope. They are the people who pave the way for others to feel safe enough and brave enough to speak out against circumcision. And they do this horrifically difficult thing simply because it is the right thing to do.<br />
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I feel honored to work alongside these women as an Intactivist and call some of them my friends. They have helped me in my personal healing, in becoming an Intactivist, and in my journey as a parent. Thanks in part to them I've come to accept that ALL of us make mistakes as parents and, thankfully, our children recover just fine from most of them. The key is what you do about the mistake. If you deny it to protect yourself the hurt to the child is increased exponentially. If you admit it and apologize the child receives the validation he needs to heal and to realize that even the most devoted mothers and fathers make mistakes. Circumcision is a mistake that the US has been lying to itself about for decades. It's time more people were brave enough to face it head on and call circumcision out for what it is: violence against children. It cannot be cloaked in religion and imagined medical benefits. It is ALWAYS violence, pure and simple. <br />
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<br />Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-58474291296986089922012-08-08T17:15:00.002-07:002012-08-08T17:18:52.540-07:00Circumcision: The Hidden HurtCircumcision hurts. I know it sounds crazy but when you take a knife to a baby's penis it DOES hurt the little guy. In more ways than one. Modern medicine has finally acknowledged that yes babies can experience pain. Um yeah. Thanks for clearing that up for us. The problem with circumcision though (one of the many) is that some of the worst pain, the most lasting effects of it, are hidden from view and experienced on a deep internal level that can affect the boy and then the man's very identity. <br />
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It's been a while since I've spoken from personal experience on a post and I think it's necessary here. Rather than telling you how I <em>think</em> psychological trauma affects survivors of circumcision I'd rather tell you what my personal experience was. Unfortunately I think it is all too familiar of a story.<br />
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I did not even know what circumcision meant until early adolescence. My parents had purchased this puberty picture book called "What's happening to me" book and foisted it upon me. For those who aren't familiar this came out in the 70s I think and was, for its time, a progressive approach to sharing information about puberty with kids. It was the follow up to the "Where Did I Come From" book. Circumcision received a one page treatment in "What's Happening To Me." There was an illustration of two guys in a shower, one cut one uncut. I don't remember exactly what the text said but it was something along the lines of "some guys are circumcised, some aren't; either is fine." Interesting that there wasn't any effort made to justify the act of circumcision, but then again they didn't really explain what circumcision really did either; the authors almost made it sound like you were born that way. Needless to say I had some questions about this.<br />
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My mother reported that I had been circumcised because it was "cleaner." She noted that Jews also practiced circumcision. For some reason the latter comforted me. I thought in my gentile and rather ethnocentric young mind, "Well, Jews seem pretty smart and they wear those cool hats so circumcision can't be too bad of a thing." Years passed and I thought no more about it. It wasn't until we learned my wife was pregnant with a son that the subject reared its ugly head once more. When she asked me about circumcision I replied that I didn't think that was something I could do to my son, but at the time I wasn't even thinking about how I felt about it having been done to me personally. That didn't come until after he was born and left intact. But boy let me tell you, once you really start thinking about the fact that part of your body is missing because it was removed without your consent it becomes kind of hard to let it go.<br />
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Do I feel traumatized? Hmmm. I don't have nightmares like many trauma survivors do but I have read that many small children who are circed experience night terrors and I was told I had those as a small child. Does my penis still work ok? Yes, I never thought it worked poorly to begin with, but since I've started restoring my foreskin I have had MUCH more sensation and lubrication during sex. But here's the rub: before I started restoring I had no idea what I was missing. And this is why circumcision is such an insidious kind of violence. Survivors of circumcision don't know there's anything wrong with them because they don't remember a time when they had a foreskin. Consequently they have no reference point for what sex ought to feel like. They think it's normal to not be able to feel much besides the climax. They think it's normal to have to use lubricant to masturbate. They think it's normal to have more feeling in the palm of their hand or on their fingertips than their penis. I know because I used to think these same things. It is a scary road to tread to learn that so many of the things you thought you understood about your own body were lies. I think the vast majority of guys who are so dead set on having their sons circumcised know deep down subconsciously that if they don't circumcise their child they going to have to set out on a very difficult road for themselves. I don't condone their cowardice but I think it's important to try to understand it. <br />
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What's maddening to me though is when people try to justify circumcision by saying that everyone they know who is circumcised is "fine." Well certainly these guys are able to hold jobs and pay their bills and if you ask them how they feel about being circumcised they'll either say "fine" or "what the hell does that mean?" But how much do we know about their sex life? Perhaps they have painful erections, perhaps they can't even have sex, or maybe they're sexually preoccupied and unfaithful, constantly in search of a feeling/meaning in sex that has been denied to them. Or maybe they just have to use viagra like millions of other Americans. News flash: this isn't fine. This isn't ok. Circumcision hurts every man it is inflicted upon. The hurt is hidden, driven deep into the subconscious so the fragile newborn can protect himself from the trauma of someone cutting off part of his body. Some men never come to a full realization of what was done to them, but this fact does not mean the hurt isn't there. And this trauma goes on to affect their life SOMEHOW, whether they're immediately conscious of it or not. I think as more and more survivors speak out about circumcision the more accepted it will become that circumcision doesn't just hurt newborns, it hurts grown men too.<br />
<br />Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com17Pittsburgh, PA, USA40.4406248 -79.995886440.3439463 -80.1538149 40.537303300000005 -79.8379579tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-90939953759656088282012-07-06T10:55:00.000-07:002012-07-06T10:55:05.884-07:00How many times do I have to say it?!?!?! Circumcision does NOT prevent HIV/AIDSPlease follow these links to review this story NPR ran yesterday about the circumcision campaign in Africa and then take time to comment either directly on the story or send a comment to NPR to potentially be read on the air. The comment I sent to NPR is below the links. I'm sooooooooo disappointed in them.<br />
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<a href="http://www.npr.org/2012/07/05/156197071/an-aids-ravaged-nation-turns-to-circumcision">http://www.npr.org/2012/07/05/156197071/an-aids-ravaged-nation-turns-to-circumcision</a><br />
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<a href="http://help.npr.org/npr/includes/customer/npr/custforms/contactus.aspx">http://help.npr.org/npr/includes/customer/npr/custforms/contactus.aspx</a><br />
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As a long-time NPR listener I was very disappointed with your recent article about circumcision in Africa. Circumcision does NOT prevent HIV/AIDS. Perhaps the the most obvious evidence of this is the high number of HIV infected men in the United States that are circumcised. The best protection against HIV is condom usage. Circumcision removes healthy tissue that is essential for pleasurable sex. Many men struggle with a host of psychological and medical complications as a result of circumcision including painful erections, lack of sexual arousal, damage to the glans, and much more. Condoms pose no such side effects. It disgusts me that American medicine is helping to export circumcision to other countries when NO medical organization in the world recommends routine infant circumcision for HIV prevention or any other reason, not even the American Academy of Pediatrics. NPR ought to have at least mentioned this. NPR also ought to have noted the cultural shift in the United States about circumcision: more than half of all babies born in the United States today are left intact. <br />
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The Kenyans are being sold a false bill of goods. They are being told that getting circumcised is a weapon in the war on AIDS when in reality all of the "research" done on circumcision in Africa is nothing more than a propaganda tool to prop up the waning industry of routine infant circumcision in the United States. The fact that some of the Kenyans agreeing to this are adults does not, to me, diminish the ethical problems involved in this circumcision campaign. These "researchers" are exaggerating and altering their findings to people who are so frightened of HIV/AIDS they are left all too vulnerable to manipulation and influence by well-meaning but misguided public health workers. I hope that in future coverage of circumcision NPR will make a stronger effort to cover both sides of this issue instead of being so quick to accept "research" that upon further inspection is so obviously questionable.Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-51563492269587074732012-06-26T17:23:00.000-07:002012-06-26T17:27:07.881-07:00Top Ten Reasons Circumcision SucksThere's WAAAAAAY more than ten but we've got to start somewhere.<br />
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10) Circumcision alters the way a boy's penis looks without him having any say in the matter whatsoever. Think about that. If circumcised your child's sex organ will suddenly look vastly different than at birth and will look different for the rest of his life. He will never know what his penis used to look like. It's bizarre when you think about all the parents who circumcised their children that get angry when junior wants to dye his hair blue, pierce his face, or tattoo his elbow. Um, maybe you ought to let him have that since you altered his genitalia to meet your standards.<br />
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9) Circumcision kills children every year. Yep. Let that sink in for a minute. This is a "surgery" -- and I put that in quotes because there's nothing "surgical" about hacking off healthy tissue-- that is not endorsed by ANY medical organization in the world that can cause death or disfigurement to your child. And you're actually considering this? Really? You make his older sister hold your hand at every intersection, you vaccinate the hell out of the kid, and you have a nannycam but you're going to risk the death of her baby brother by signing off on a "surgery" no one endorses. (And I'm the weirdo?)<br />
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8) Circumcision hurts. Docs used to claim that babies that young couldn't feel pain. Some mohels STILL claim this. Convenient isn't it? Research has proven that babies experience pain and anyone with the most basic psychological training knows that pain=trauma and trauma affects the developing brain. This is why physical and sexual abuse is bad for babies. So circumcision causes pain and thus trauma for little babies. Oh and by the way even if Junior gets some local anaesthesia, he's still going to hurt every time you change his diaper and the psychological hurt will persist for years. (see previous posts)<br />
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7) Circumcision ruins sex. Let's just get it out there. You're fucking with your kid's sex organ. What the HELL where you thinking?!?!?!? Circumcision is about and has ALWAYS been about taking away sexual pleasure. This shit has been going on for thousands of years; it's just over the last hundred years or so that some really creepy doctors are trying to find bizarre reasons to justify it. Circumcision removes healthy tissue that keeps the glans supple and sensitive. Without foreskin the glans becomes so callous that the sensation during sex is dramatically reduced. My foreskin is not even 50% restored and I have experienced a ridiculous amount of restored sensation. To all you circumcised guys who say you have no problems and like sex I say, well that was me too but now it's about 100 times better. That peak your interest? Anyway, don't put your kid in this position. His future sexual pleasure is not your goddamn business.<br />
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6) Circumcision is sexual violence. Sorry but it is. You are cutting genitalia, people. Violence + genitalia= sexual violence. Think about how angry you get when you think of some freak child molester touching a little child's genitalia. These doctors and mohels are actually cutting part of it off!!!!!!!<br />
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5) Circumcision hurts families. Circumcision makes it harder for babies to breastfeed successfully and hurts the bond between mother/father and son. Even animals understand the parents' most important role is to protect their young. Circumcision often haunts mothers and fathers for years after the event either because of complications or the nagging voice of instinct telling them it was something they never should have done in the first place.<br />
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4) Circumcision isn't hip anymore. Yep. It never was in Europe and is confirmed to be on the wane in the US. If you circumcise your child he is going to be in the minority. Gym class is likely going to lead to him asking you some questions you may find it hard to answer. Your best friend who just cut her child without his consent might make it sound like everyone else is doing it (the idea is certainly comforting to her) but it just isn't true. Thousands of parents are waking up and protecting their sons from this perverse act of violence. Listen to your heart and I bet you will do the same. <br />
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3) Circumcision is WEIRD. I mean what kind of crackpot is sitting around his tent in ancient times and thinks, "Hmmmm, I think I'm going to cut part of my penis off." And people followed this guy?!?!?!? Do you really want to hitch your wagon to this kind of thinking? They used to stone people to death back then too, you know... Please remember you CAN choose to keep your son intact and still be just as fantastic of a Jew or Muslim. (Check out Beyond the Bris) Mormons are hanging in there without polygamy; you can practice your religion without circumcision.<br />
2) Circumcision is unethical. It is amputation without the person's consent. It is always unnecessary and could easily be deferred until your child is able to make his own decisions about how he wants his body to look. Doctors who perform circumcisions are violating the most important principle of their discipline: First do no harm.... If circumcision isn't harm, I don't know what is.<br />
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1) Circumcision makes your child less than what he could have been. You are taking something away that he will spend the rest of his life trying to get back. For those who don't realize what's missing they chase the void like a shadow in late afternoon. Those who do have a better chance of filling that void but if often becomes a lifelong endeavour and is always one they wish they didn't have to endure. After all, they never agreed to it. They just realized one fateful day what they were missing.Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-9918644964882150992012-06-09T07:39:00.001-07:002012-06-09T07:46:20.771-07:00What if mom & dad knew better but didn't do better?One of my favorite phrases is from Maya Angelou: "When you know better, you do better." This is, I think, particularly applicable to the problem of routine infant circumcision in the United States. So many parents sign off on their child being circumcised because they don't know better. Many have not even discussed circumcision before the doctor asks about it, much less before they were pregnant. They trust the doctor to know best. They've got many decisions to make, everything from what color junior's room is going to be to what kind of diapers they are going to use to whether they intend to tote him around in a plastic bucket or a cloth sling. So when they get hit with the circumcision question it's tempting to defer to the doctor, especially if Dad is circumcised. It makes him feel better about his own cut status when Doc prattles on about the supposed health benefits. Mom may be blindsided and all too often, among women I've surveyed anyway, defers to Dad's decision. Apparently all Dads are supposed to be experts on medical ethics just because they have a penis too.<br />
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Anyway, one of the reasons I speak out about circumcision is to prevent this kind of uninformed decision-making. Parents need to know what circumcision really does to a baby both physically and psychologically. They also need to be aware of the risks circumcision poses to future sexual happiness, bonding with their baby, and even the baby's life. The dramatically reduced circumcision rate nationwide is directly related to parents starting to make informed decisions about circumcision. Lord knows it's not because doctors are out there informing people. It's because new parents are investigating things for themselves, talking with friends, and perhaps even listening to activists like me once in a while.<br />
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This is all well and good but this post is about the people who DO get the information to make an informed decision and still choose to circumcise their child. People who claim not to have much of an opinion on circumcision often will say, "well, it's the parents' choice." To which the intactivist responds, "Actually it's the baby's body, it's HIS choice. That's the whole problem with circumcision!" This makes it difficult to accept a friend or family member's decision to circumcise.<br />
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Example: I rode the same bus to work for several years and got to know a number of people who also rode the same bus. (Special shout out to any ex-44U rider who someday reads this LOL.) One was a gal who eventually became pregnant. One day she happened to get on at my stop instead of a later one and I had a chance to talk to her about circumcision. She was very receptive to the information and appeared somewhat interested in talking about it. She let me know that her husband wanted the child to be circumcised and she wasn't so sure. I tried to give her as much information and encouragement as I could without being overbearing. Time went on and I stopped seeing her on the bus, probably because she was on maternity leave. A few years later my wife ran into her in a Mom oriented book club and told me that based on a conversation that took place at the book club she was pretty sure this girl had ended up circumcising the baby. I felt sad and frustrated and wondered what I could or should have done differently. I felt bad for the baby primarily but also for her to some degree because I knew she didn't really want to do it and had let her husband talk her into it. Like MANY dads who sign off on circumcision he was probably cut himself and not real interested in delving into why someone cut part of his dick off; better just to make junior look the same way so he doesn't have to think about it.<br />
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Now here's the point of this post that is starting to ramble a bit: I never had to see this girl again so I haven't thought about the whole thing much until now. But what happens when the mom and dad that know better and still circumcise are related to you? I can't tell you how many posts I've read from people that are going through some pretty serious family conflict because they are trying to talk a brother or sister or cousin out of circumcising their child and the family member just digs their heels in. The intactivist feels extra motivation to go above and beyond to try to protect this child; it's a future family member for God's sake. The family member in question, unfortunately, may perceive the intactivist as overbearing. They think to themselves, "Well, it's my choice. I'm the parent. Why does x think he/she can talk me into something that's just their own opinion?" I have the utmost respect for those that continue to try to protect the child in question in these difficult situations. But what happens when they circumcise the baby and then you have to see them at family gatherings? It can be awkward.<br />
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I talked with my younger cousin about circumcision as soon as I found out his girlfriend was pregnant. I did this via email since I live in PA and he lives in AZ. This didn't go very well. He outright ignored the first email and then told me very unequivocally that they intended to circumcise their child. Again, I felt frustrated and wondered what I should have done differently. Fast forward a year later. His wife posts some misinformation about foreskins on Facebook and gets flamed by me, my wife, and all the intactivists we are friends with. (Apparently his wife has had one year of nursing school and is suddenly an expert on everything.) This electronic exchange got pretty heated, but I didn't feel the least bit bad about it. I thought, "goddamn it, I tried to give you information about this. I'm not going to pull any punches for your dumb ass. You and your wife need to know what you did to your kid."<br />
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When we saw them at my sister's wedding several months later I wasn't sure what to expect. It turned out to be kind of ironic because our kids played with their kids almost the entire time we were there leaving the adults plenty of time to talk. Of course the topic of circumcision was never broached. We all knew where each other stood so we talked about other parenting topics: interests the kids had, activities, etc. In the end, the anger that I feared I would have for them was just not there. More than anything I felt bad not just for their son, but also for them. I've made my share of mistakes as a parent but this is one that they will never be able to correct. Even if they get a clue 30 years from now when circumcision in the US is almost if not entirely eradicated, no matter how their position on this changes their son will have to pay for their mistake his entire life. And whether or not he confronts them about it years from now, as I warned them he might, they'll always know that they had the opportunity and the encouragement to protect their child from circumcision and they opted not to. Perhaps that's why they seemed sad and not angry when I saw them at the wedding. Perhaps seeing my face reminded them of a decision they're trying not to think about, a subject that they wish would just go away. Well, I'm not going away. <br />
<br />Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-19951199109745930372012-05-28T10:47:00.002-07:002012-05-28T10:47:17.831-07:00Stopping circumcision one coworker at a timeWorking to help end circumcision in my lifetime has become an important part of my identity both as a writer and a human being. This blog is my small contribution to this movement. In addition to my blog I try to talk with people in person about circumcision when I have the chance. I admit that I tend to prey on pregnant people. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not running across the street accosting pregnant women who are waiting for the bus or otherwise trying to make their way to work, but if fate brings me into close proximity with a pregnant woman I often ask her what she thinks about circumcision. This is not so much because I really think I can change her mind; most adults don't like to have their mind's changed by anyone. Rather, I do it for two reasons, the first being that I just want to get her thinking about it and create some uncomfortable associations in her mind that go along with circumcision so that she can't fool herself into thinking it's "just a little snip" like all of her damn friends who have already done it are probably telling her. <br />
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The other reason I do it is more selfish: every time I miss an opportunity for advocacy I beat myself up. I think about how given my personal experience with recovering from circumcision I really have some obligation to speak out to try to prevent it whenever I can. So then I start feeling like I, in some minute way, failed this little baby and anybody who knows me will tell you I tend to obsess over things so it's just a whole lot easier to say something to this poor pregnant lady and risk offending her. Even if I make her uncomfortable I think that's ok on some level. Think about those creepy anti-smoking ads where they show the post-tracheotomy patients or the old men hooked up to hospital machines. These ads are designed to make you uncomfortable, to make it less enjoyable to buy cigarettes and light up. If I end up making her a little uncomfortable it's not entirely a bad thing.<br />
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That said it's a helluva lot safer to do this kind of work with people you don't know that you won't see again than it is to do with people you work with. I work for a pretty large company which we won't name here because they are big enough to try to play Big Brother a bit in terms of social media. I tend to come across pregnant women in my department pretty regularly. Most of them I know on some level and I always think to myself, "_______ is a really sweet gal. I know in her heart she wouldn't want to do anything to hurt her baby but this is Western Pennsylvania for God's sake and the chances are very good that his dad will a) want to circumcise him, b) want to give him a crew cut, and c) want to teach him to hunt." The latter two I can live with but not the first one. But how the heck was I supposed to approach this?<br />
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Most decent sized US companies have some kind of anti-harassment policy just like the one at my company. At first I was really paranoid of running afoul of something like this. What if I make her angry and she claims it's a form of harassment? This kept me from saying anything to anyone for quite a while. Eventually though someone I worked with frequently and knew fairly well got pregnant. The more I thought about the reason behind my silence the sillier it sounded. I realized I was making excuses to get myself out of it because this is, almost always, a difficult conversation to have with people. I realized that unless I'm screaming in her face that people who facilitate their children being circumcised are going to burn in hell she's probably not going to complain. The worst she will do is think I'm a crackpot and avoid me in the hall. So I said something.<br />
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I asked permission if I could talk to her about it and she gave it to me. I told her that I think everyone makes different parenting decisions and everyone makes the decision that they think is best and I make it a point not to judge other people's decisions but circumcision is THE ONE thing that has such a profound effect on families that I feel obligated to talk to people about it. She listened and we discussed. Like several other women I've spoken to about it she said she already had some reservations about the issue but she knew her husband wanted to circumcise the child. We talked about his reasons for this and ways she could talk to him about it. I encouraged her to have him call me if she liked and also gave her some websites for further information.<br />
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Fast-forward: she chose not to return to work from her maternity leave. I told her I respected and admired her decision to stay home with her new baby. I saw her about a week later when she came to turn some work items in. She had the baby with her and I could just tell by the look on her face she had allowed him to be circumcised. She couldn't look me in the eye and she seemed uncomfortable and eager to get the brief meeting over with even though both myself and a coworker were busy goo goo-ing with the new baby. So our conversation didn't make a difference. But wait... What if she allowed the circumcision, regretted it, and now if someone she knows asks her about it she actually tells, wait for it, the TRUTH about how the violence of circumcision affected her bond with her baby and her family? Ok maybe I'm reaching a bit there but when you get people talking about this you never know what might happen.<br />
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Now I'm in a similar situation again. Someone else is pregnant. I don't know her as well as the person I supervised but, again, she seems kind and thoughtful enough that I feel obligated to offer information on the side of keeping her baby intact, at least creating the idea that saying no to circumcision is an option. I was feeling conflicted about how to approach this and whether it was appropriate for me to say anything, but after writing this I realize that it is my duty to make what small contributions I can to the effort to keep all babies whole. And every pregnant woman is, like it or not, offended or not, an opportunity to further this advocacy as respectfully as possible.<br />
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(After all if some idiot at Starbucks years ago can get away with chiding my then pregnant wife for drinking what he thought was a caffeinated coffee, is it so out of bounds for me to ask and have a non-confrontational, respectful discussion with a pregnant woman about circumcision?) Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-40915279473019044742012-05-25T09:41:00.001-07:002012-05-25T09:41:17.879-07:00Can damage from circumcision be repaired?<a href="http://www.moralogous.com/2012/05/16/real-stories-couple-repairs-circumcision-damage-through-foreskin-restoration/">If you're curious please check out a fellow blogger's interview of my wife here...</a>Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-33601802305291472702012-05-14T08:55:00.001-07:002012-05-14T08:55:57.715-07:00Circumcision & Motherly InstinctMothers. The lifeblood of the world. The warm center of a cold senseless universe. Those who bear life. They are amazing people and their role in circumcision is often a strange one. What better time to meditate on this than the day after Mother's Day? <br />
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My kids have a book that is titled "All Mommies Love Their Babies." It always strikes me how true this title is. There are things in life that become obstacles to that love, that slow the passage of the stream like rocks, dirt, silt, moss, but they seldom stop it. A mother's love can be befuddled by the artifices of modern life but typically it perseveres. It must. Where would the species be without it? With love comes responsibility. Every parent who has held their newborn child and gazed into the pure light in their eyes knows this. And one of the most pressing responsibilities is to protect them. We worry about everything from getting them in the best school to protecting them from child molesters to making sure they don't run into traffic on a busy street. And, if you'll pardon my language, that is one of things that is so fucked up about circumcision: The mothers who sign off on it often think that by doing so they are protecting their children. <br />
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All of modern medicine's scantly supported justifications for circumcisions become frightening bugaboos these mothers feel compelled to prevent. I once read a post from a woman who worked for a urologist. Her reason for circumcising her son was that she had seen a case of penile cancer and thought she had to do everything to protect her son from acquiring such a disease. A noble thought, certainly, but a rash one and poorly researched. Part of protecting your children is about odds. It's kind of like Vegas: which is the safer intersection to use to cross the busy street? Is the benefit of Junior's medication worth the risk/side effects? Odds of acquiring penile cancer are pretty slim yet with circumcision the odds of the child's future sexual pleasure as an adult being reduced is 100%, the odds of violating his right to choose what happens to his body is 100%, and I don't know what the odds are that he will be angry at her for her decision but they are probably greater than the odds he would have gotten penile cancer! So in trying to prevent harm to her child she has instead caused it. Stories like this are repeated every day. Why? Because all of us, mothers included, have lost touch with our instincts. <br />
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As humans we are hardwired to protect our children. Without these instincts the species would not have continued to exist. These animal instincts are powerful. Instinct is what drives the mother to pull her child out of the street before she even sees the car. She just <i>knows</i> one is coming. Instinct is what helps her and the child breastfeed. Instinct is how mothers can take their baby's temperature without a thermoter. :) But unfortunately we have been taught to distrust our instinct, to drown out that little voice inside that often has the very best ideas. And without our instinct we are like babes in the woods. Nothing makes sense if we can't trust ourselves. Adrift, we turn to the lighthouse of education and knowledge: doctors. Their books, their degrees will save us. We just need to do what we are told. But even their messages seem contradictory at times, or diluted, or just completely absent. That leaves us in fear. And decisions made out of fear are not typically good ones. <br />
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I'm not sure what's happening to the motherly instinct in the US. Is the declining circumcision rate proof that instinct is growing stronger again or is that a measure of activism and the desire so many of us now have to educate ourselves, especially in the matter of our children? Certainly instinct survives, and in many families thrives. But every time a newborn baby is handed over to someone with a knife to be cut, whether the mother believes this will save his soul, or prevent AIDS, or improve his health in some bizarre fashion, the outcome is the same: her bond with him is damaged, his body is violated, and what began as an impulse to protect becomes an act of harm. <br />
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As I raise three children, now ages 3, 5, and 6 I can honestly say that learning to listen to my own instincts has been more valuable than any book about parenting I have ever read. Certainly not all of my decisions have been good ones but I'm going to keep playing the odds. I'm going to bet on the animal instinct that's helped the human race survive for 200,000 years NOT fear. I'm going to listen to the little voice that says, "It just doesn't seem like a good idea to let that fucking weirdo with the knife cut off part of your newborn child's body." All the research I've done and continue to do about circumcision just proves that voice right over and over again.Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-73456255051010198632011-11-21T19:48:00.000-08:002011-11-21T19:52:00.394-08:00News flashDear American modern medicine,<br /><br />Circumcision does NOT prevent HIV or sexually transmitted infection!!<br /><br />(told you so.) Now you're going to have to find a different excuse to cut babies you sickos.<br /><br /><br />www.thewholenetwork.org/14/post/2011/10/us-navy-finds-that-circumcision-does-not-prevent-hiv-or-stis.html<br /><br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />all the people who don't believe in cutting babiesJeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-68781482020602550602011-09-05T20:15:00.000-07:002011-09-17T17:54:48.899-07:00Top Ten Reasons Why Foreskin is GreatOk full disclosure I do NOT have a foreskin. Mine was hacked off without my consent by some asshole I'd like to have five minutes in a room alone with. However I have gleaned the following reasons from research, discussion, and partial restoration of my own circumcised penis. We'll do this Letterman style and count down ten to one:<br /><br />10. Having foreskin somehow allows/encourages your penis to emit lubricant during intercourse. Feel free to comment if you know exactly how this works and can explain why I NEVER experienced this during however many years of sex as a circumcised man, yet within the first year of restoring my foreskin I produce the stuff like crazy. I don't think I need to go on here about the benefits of lubricant. If I do then honestly this is probably not the blog for you. Might I refer you to Celibate Singles Are Us?<br />Oh ok I'll go on about it. Creating your own lubricant means:<br />more slippery, sensuous sex for you and your partner<br />no messy, expensive astroglide or KY<br />Even single guys can enjoy not having to use lubricant when, you know, they have that urge. (My buddy in France thinks it's pretty bizarre that most circumcised US males require some kind of lubricant to masturbate.)<br /><br />9. Foreskin protects your glans and keeps it sensitive and responsive meaning better sex. I defy anyone to find an intact guy who gets circumcised and says the sex is better after. Without your foreskin your glans has about as much sensation as your elbow. <br /><br />8. Foreskins don't look all bloody and gory and purple when you change baby's diaper. They look surprisingly, well, normal. Through the first 10 or so diaper changes of my son back in the day I kept going, "Oh yeah, that's what I'm supposed to look like."<br /><br />7. Foreskins don't require all kinds of weird special care like a newly circumcised penis does. You just leave them alone. (Even if your brainless circumcised pediatrician tells you otherwise.)<br /><br />6. Foreskins can help with potty training (maybe.) Only saying this because when my son was potty learning he would pinch his foreskin shut as he ran upstairs to the potty. It appeared to help him with "holding it."<br /><br />5. Speaking of potty learning... I don't have any stats on this but I'm guessing intact kids are easier to potty learn than circumcised ones. Reason being this: To survive the trauma of circumcision baby boys have got to subconsciously insulate themselves from thinking about what's happened to their penis. Then all of a sudden mom and dad expect them to pee in the potty. Baby is thinking, "Damn, I spent the first 12 months trying not to even think about that thing when it was all purple and bloody (see above) and now you want me to do what!?!?! Can we just leave it in my frikkin' diaper? I'm worried you're going to cut some more off."<br /><br />4. Foreskins are ALL the rage right now. EVERYONE that's anyone has one: Colin Farrell, Russell Crowe, your dog, just to name a few. <br /><br />3. If foreskin cells are so valuable for skin cream, just imagine what what they can do for your penis if they stay where they're intended.<br /><br />2. Lots of women like foreskin and the more sensual sex that accompanies it. I'm sure there's plenty of men out there that like it too. The point it is you don't amputate part of your child's body in order to help him better resemble your own culturally-derived idea of what's sexually attractive. I mean what's next? Nose and boob jobs for 12 year-olds?<br /><br />1. Honestly talking about why foreskin is great is akin to trying to explain why eyelids are great. Um, you're born with it thus just like the rest of your body IT'S GREAT and it's there for a reason.Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-29639974217100030862011-08-18T09:30:00.000-07:002011-08-30T17:16:57.523-07:00Care of the Intact MaleRule # 1: Leave your baby son's penis alone.
<br />Rule # 2: If you are confused about something, please refer back to rule #1.
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<br />I'm sure this information will shock many Americans but I'd like to report that my intact son is now 4 and a quarter years old and doing very well despite the fact I chose not to chop off part of his penis.
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<br />He has not experienced a UTI. If he did, I suppose I would treat it with an antibiotic. Not even in the same ballpark of invasive procedures compared to circumcision. I'll take a pill over a scalpel any day.
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<br />He does not need and has NEVER needed me to "wash" it for him in the bathtub as some idiotic foreskinless pediatricians have recommended to some parents. His foreskin has gradually loosened from the glans due to his own passing manipulations, contact with clothing, etc. It does not need any "help" loosening. It's this kind of ignorance about foreskin care that leads to tearing, corresponding adhesions, and then the same idiot pediatrician saying, "You see all the problems this foreskin has caused? We need to go ahead and circumcise him now." Pediatricians are typically the most poorly paid and often the least informed type of MDs. Please remember their word is NOT gospel.
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<br />Also would like to note that my son has not caused anyone to get cervical cancer. Honestly I can't write this without laughing because this is such an inappropriate attack on foreskins in the first place. Men with foreskins don't cause women to get cervical cancer. Last I checked sex requires two consenting parties. If the woman wishes to protect herself from HPV, the virus that IF UNTREATED leads to cervical cancer, then she ought to
<br />a) be choosy about partners
<br />b) ask partner to wear condom
<br />Circumcision is not the answer. If circumcision helps prevent HPV/cervical cancer how come the US reports 6 million new cases of HPV every year even though 77% of US born men born between 1932-74 are circumcised? If circumcision really works to help prevent AIDS how come so many circumcised men in America have AIDS? These are questions the American medical community just can't seem to wrap their head around. They're so busy trying to come up with research that, in their minds, justifies circumcision that they can't see the forest for the trees. People have been trying to justify circumcision as a means to treat all kinds of health problems for hundreds of years. The whole cervical cancer/AIDS bit is just more of the same. Millions of men in the world are intact and they live happy, fulfilling lives. Perhaps American docs are just trying to make themselves feel better about what they're missing! I think docs who do research on the benefits of circumcision should have to divulge their own "cut" or "uncut" status.
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<br />Now I want to be fair so here are two important issues people with intact sons have to address:
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<br /># 1: My son is the only person with worse aim at the toilet than yours truly. It appears the foreskin may interfere with aiming the stream at times but then again aiming may well be a problem that ALL boys, circumcised or not, deal with. I'm assuming he'll control this more deftly in the future. Being circumcised myself I have no idea. My wife recently broached the idea that maybe this was another reason the cleanliness obsessed Victorians got behind circumcision. Not only could circumcision cure masturbation, heck it could keep the bathroom cleaner.
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<br /># 2: Speaking of the Victorians...My son's been "exploring" his genitalia for quite some time now since he wasn't met with blinding pain every time he touched it as a baby like myself and millions of other circumcised babies. I have a feeling he may, dare I say it, masturbate when he gets older. (Merciful heavens!) Oh well. Hate to break it to the Victorians and anyone else repressed enough to care but I was circumcised and it certainly didn't stop me.
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<br />Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-13614936629088325382011-07-21T19:12:00.001-07:002011-07-21T19:39:56.625-07:00Burning questions I need someone to answerPlease comment if you have the answer to any of these questions. They are keeping me awake at night...<br /><br />If circumcision is no big deal how come every time I forget to sleep with my foreskin restoration device attached I am anxious and irritable for a good part of the next day?<br /><br />If circumcision is performed in the child's health interests how come every time I spend significant amount of time reading circumcision related blogs I come across someone who, as a result of his very "tight" circumcision experiences horrific pain every time he gets erect, much less tries to reach ejaculation. <br /><br />If circumcision is such an important part of the Jewish and Islamic religion could someone please explain to me why it's so important to God that everyone has an exposed, callous glans? I'm also wondering how he sits through watching all those circumcisions performed in his name. I mean he is omnipresent after all so that means he gets to see and hear every one of those screaming babies AND since he is also omniscient that means he knows exactly how much pain and sadness and betrayal each of those tiny little babies feels. Say what you will about us atheists. It certainly requires less ethical gymnastics.<br /><br />How come I never see any studies done by intact doctors from Europe "proving" how great circumcision is? Is it within the realm of possibility that the foreskin-less docs in the US and Israel are hell-bent on proving the evils of the foreskin just so they personally can feel better about not having one?<br /><br />If foreskins are as bad as US doctors make them out to be how on Earth did the human race survive before some self-mutilating weirdo first decided to experiment with the idea of hacking off part of his own penis? (wonder what that guys parents did to HIM huh?)<br /><br />Can anybody tell me where my foreskin is? Really. I'd like it back. I mean, it is mine after all. Isn't there some kind of inalienable right to body parts? I mean, it's not like it was some cancer-ridden lesion. It was a perfectly good foreskin. Wait, why are you giving me this skin cream. I don't want this, I just want... Oh. Yuck.<br /><br />If circumcision is such a great idea how come no one is circumcising their dogs? I mean if you're willing to drop $250 at Petco on the latest food and toys for him, why not prevent penile cancer while you're at it?<br /><br />Who really signs up for cutting penises? I mean seriously. It's kind of like being the defense attorney for a serial child rapist. Yes, someone has to do it but why would you want to be that person? Even for the people who have convinced themselves it is ethically ok to mutilate baby penises you would think they would be a little put off by the screaming and crying and seizuring and bleeding. You would think that would put them off enough to consider a career change.<br /><br />And the number one burning question I have:<br />If circumcision is no big deal, how come even though my foreskin is only like maybe 15-20% restored my sex life is DRAMATICALLY enhanced. I mean it was great before but HOLY SHIT.Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-65179626335824478362011-07-13T07:38:00.000-07:002011-07-14T06:17:36.959-07:00Circumcision SongThere is nothing funny about circumcision but sometimes you gotta laugh to keep from cryin'. Know what I mean? With that in mind check out the following song lyrics and if you like them check out the performance at <br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnBV-phPFo0">Circumcision Song</a><br /><br /><br />Circumcision Song<br />By Jeff Sanger<br />March 2008<br /><br />Use chords G…. em…….. am…….. D…..<br />Repeat throughout<br /><br />(chorus)<br />Circumcision is bad<br />For little babies <br />And their <br />Families<br />Because you need the tip of your penis<br />For sex<br />And other fun<br />Activities<br /><br />Don’t you listen<br />To your pediatrician<br />He stands to make a lot of<br />Money you see<br /><br />Oh whoa oh circumcision<br />Was imported to the US<br />Sometime around<br />1883<br /><br />Doctors of the time<br />Were trying to figure out<br />How to stop masturbation, ‘cause it causes<br />Blindness no doubt<br /><br />They cut off the erogenous zone<br />So he’d leave it alone<br />They said he felt he felt no pain<br />Though he cried and moaned<br /><br />(Chorus)<br />Circumcision is bad<br />For little babies <br />And their <br />Families<br />Because you need the tip of your penis<br />For sex<br />And other fun<br />Activities<br /><br />Now some people<br />Are trying so say<br />It prevents UTIs<br />And maybe AIDS<br /><br />Well I really think <br />they’re full of shit<br />Besides what’s medical opinion <br />got to do with it?<br /><br />It’s my boy’s penis <br />so let him decide<br />If he’s that worried ‘bout some <br />Damn UTI.<br /><br />One more brief point <br />You just can’t deride<br />How come everyone I know with AIDS is <br />Circumcised?!?!?!?<br /><br />You want him to look like Dad?<br />Come on now please!<br />What if junior’s daddy was a <br />Double amputee?<br /><br />Someday soon <br />The US will get a clue<br />Followed closely by that <br />Rotten AAP too<br /><br />And then all those rotten <br />Docs will turn and say<br />Well, we never advocated circumcision <br />Anyway!<br /><br />Oh whoa tell your friends<br />Tell your mom and dad<br />Tell everyone you know circumcision is……<br />BAD!!!!!!!!Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-2848075852349334312011-06-24T14:15:00.000-07:002011-06-24T22:27:04.552-07:00Everyone wants to circumcise the world"Circumcision helps prevent cervical cancer."<br /><br />Really? This is like telling your friend Jim Bob who lost both hands in a farm accident that at least he'll never have to deal with hangnails again. Or telling your friend, Hank, who lost both feet in a steamroller accident that at least he doesn't have those pesky corns you do. <br /><br />Statements like this are not even offered as a "reason" to circumcise/cut/mutilate your child. They are instead a pitiful consolation prize for those who have already done so. <br />E.g.: "Sure I cut Johnny so he'd look like me but hey, I'm also helping lower the cervical cancer rate." <br /><br />Let's look at it another way: If you could "help prevent" breast cancer by cutting off your child's left ear would you do it? What about helping prevent colon cancer -- big killer by the way-- would you cut off your son's pinkie finger to do that? OF COURSE YOU WOULDN'T! So why should you cut off his foreskin to "help prevent" cervical cancer? See what a bad idea it is? You don't cut off body parts to prevent problems that don't exist. (If we did, doctors would remove the appendix shortly after birth too. After all they don't think it has much of a function and appendicitis can be life threatening.) The truth is people have been circumcising their children for thousands of years for ALL kinds of bizarre reasons. It's only in the last hundred or so years that the American medical profession has decided to try to legitimize it. <br /><br />If you are circumcised and you somehow find solace in the claim that you are "helping" prevent cervical cancer, more power to you, but please don't tout this as a reason to circumcise. Do you really want to advocate circumcising/mutilating non-consenting children to deal with a public health problem (ie HPV) that is best addressed with condoms and monogamy? Speaking as a partially restored man, it is really quite ludicrous. (For me personally I'd rather have my foreskin and NOT help prevent cervical cancer. After all I'm in a monogamous relationship and thus not at risk of giving HPV to anyone. Sorry, but I've chosen to think highly of my son as well and don't think he will rampantly spread HPV just because he is intact!)<br /><br />So if you are circumcised and/or have chosen to circumcise your child, STOP throwing out red herrings and face why you did it and/or why it was done to you. Was it a bunch of JAMA articles that made you decide to circumcise Jr. or was it your own fear, your own desire to conform, your own scars?Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-72243501998082230752011-06-15T11:31:00.000-07:002011-06-17T13:11:01.446-07:00Is Intactivism antisemitic?Well, the short answer is, no. There is nothing inherently antisemitic about wanting to save innocent babies from having part of their penis chopped off. However, speaking as a man who is recovering from circumcision I can tell you there are a LOT of intense feelings out there about circumcision as well as antisemitism-- both justified-- and that is what has fueled this debate. <br /><br />For most guys once they realize what they've really lost due to their circumcision, once they stop seeing that poor exposed, desensitized, centurion-shaped glans as the norm, they start to get angry. We start to ask, "Why was this done to me?" or "Who in their right mind could ever think circumcision was a good idea?" or "What gave you the right to decide what parts of my body I got to keep?" and so forth. I personally felt frustrated my parents had not protected me from circumcision, but I also placed some blame on the man that performed the actual removal of my foreskin. I felt a great deal of anger for this man and briefly considered tracking him down to confront him and ask why he thought he had the right to do this and to make sure that he knew I was not happy about it and blamed him. When I asked my mother who performed my circumcision she claimed it was Dr. so and so but he had already passed away. (I don't really see how she could know that. It's not like they exchanged Christmas cards or something. She just wanted to take the wind out of my sails in the hopes I'd just let the whole thing drop. I can understand that I suppose. My mother has a hard time admitted ANYTHING she does wrong so it's important to her to keep circumcision as far as possible outside the realm of potential conversation. But I digress.) The point is I was angry at the guy who cut me without my consent. <br /><br />I began to feel anger toward any doctor who would do this regardless of parental consent. My anger toward doctors who circumcise only intensified when I heard about Doctors Opposing Circumcision and felt vindicated in my belief that physicians ought to be thoughtful enough and ethical enough to refuse to perform such a procedure. Then, eventually, I started to think about a friend of mine, Greg, who is Jewish. I thought of him being circumcised by a mohel and then of arranging his own son's circumcision by a mohel and I felt anger towards, wait for it...the mohel, not Greg or his faith or synagogues or the Old Testament or the Talmud or Passover or the Star of David or anything having to do with Jewishness outside of the circumcision ritual. My anger extended to the mohel alone. Do Greg's parents deserve some responsibility as well? Yes I believe they do, as do my own parents. The fact that they made the decision to circumcise based on religious reasons makes it no more or less defensible than the reasons my parents gave. It's still violence. The cutters likewise bare the same ethical responsibility for their actions be they mohels or MDs or both. <br /><br />There are two problems I see here:<br />1) It's dangerous to label an entire movement antisemitic until you know what it's really about. This label can unfortunately become an effective smokescreen to keep people from having to deal with hard facts that people like Jonathan Friedman speak so eloquently about. (please see http://www.beyondthebris.com/2011/06/on-circumcision-authority-and.html)<br />The other issue is that I'm guessing mohels have the same inability for self-reflection that doctors who perform circumcisions do. No one wants to look back on their life's work and think, "Wow, I should never have done that. I HARMED all those children." Most of us humans are hard-wired to avoid this kind of internal criticism at all costs. It's part of our innate drive for self-preservation.<br /><br />2) It's dangerous for people who are angry about their own circumcision to mistakenly believe that all Jewish people believe in circumcision or to believe that antisemitic sentiment (IE Hatred) is a constructive response to circumcision. Such sentiment should and will be rooted out and destroyed within the Intactivist movement in the few, isolated instances where it does exist. <br /><br />I don't have a crystal ball and maybe this is wishful thinking but I believe that someday circumcision will be outlawed in the US, that religious freedom does not trump the rights of the individual, that babies deserve to be protected by the state, indeed if you ask me the state has a "compelling interest" in the legal sense to do so. These babies can sign up for circumcision at age 18 if at that point they are convinced it is an integral part of being Jewish or Muslim or whatever. The 1st amendment to the US Constitution states that "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof." No Intactivist wants to prohibit the free exercise of Judaism or Islam, but dammit, if the Mormons can give up polygamy and still be Mormon, can't the Jews and Muslims still be Jewish and Muslim without circumcision? After all, we're not saying the boys can't sign up for a real bona fide circumcision ritual when they're 18. Is it my fault the mohels are going to have a hard time recruiting people at that point? <br /><br />Thankfully many Jewish people are speaking out against circumcision and refusing to continue the perpetration of this violence on their own children as are many circumcised non-Jews like myself. The intactivist movement is one of the most welcoming I have ever participated in. Anyone who believes cutting infant penises is wrong is welcome to join regardless of religious, political, or any other affiliation. Besides these babies don't care what kind of God the person cutting them worships. All they know is that it HURTS!Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-2680410060724716102011-06-09T09:47:00.000-07:002011-06-11T05:51:54.540-07:00"I'm circumcised and I don't have a problem with it. What's the big deal?"I'm writing this blog because of an extensive facebook debate with three guys who are "friends of a friend" and didn't like their friend posting a blog about how circumcision hurts babies. Each of the guys attempted to make a point about why he felt the way he did but, interestingly enough, all 3 of them mentioned that they themselves were circumcised and did not think it was a big deal. I admitted that my own feelings of anger and loss about my circumcision came AFTER my wife and I decided to leave my son intact which basically forced me to think about what I was missing every time I changed the little lad's diaper! However, I think it's important to connect with guys who are not yet dads who think circumcision is "not a big deal." If you are one of those guys please read on and follow the instructions carefully so you can be absolutely SURE that you don't mind being circumcised. If you are not one of those guys please read on anyway as you can share this exercise with male friends who report to you that they do not mind being circumcised.<br /><br />1) Take out your penis and look at it. You know that ring around your penis that is a little darker than the rest of the skin on your penis? Do you ever wonder about what that is? Sadly I used to think that was somehow part of the anatomy of a penis, that it was supposed to look that. Um no. That is a scar from where we were circumcised. Just like any part of you body, making a deep cut and removing tissue creates scar tissue. Don't know about you but I'm not a huge fan of having a scarred penis.<br /><br />2) Now, grasp the loose skin just below your scar with your thumb and forefinger on either side of your shaft and gently pull the skin over your glans/head. How easy this is for you to do is closely related to how much skin the doctor or mohel cut off of you as an infant during your circumcision. <br /><br />3) Still grasping the skin, use one of your middle fingers to gently press down on the glans. Again, depending on how much skin you have you may be able to almost completely cover your glans with skin. <br /><br />4) Look down at your covered glans. This is how you were born. This is how your body was created by your DNA, or God if you are religious. It's not gross or weird though many people try to described intact penises this way. It's kind of like a sheathe for your mighty sword.<br /><br />5) If you were intact and had that skin covering your glans, your glans would be MUCH more sensitive. Without that foreskin your glans is left to chafe on your diaper, pants, etc. your entire life until the poor thing has about as much sensation as your elbow. Touch your glans, erect or not doesn't matter. Now touch the middle of the arch on your bare foot. Doesn't it seem odd your foot is more sensitive than your sex organ? For intact men this is NOT the case.<br /><br />6) Do you use lubricant, saliva, etc to masturbate? Most circumcised men do. If you were intact not only would your glans be more sensitive but your penis would secrete natural lubricant to help with sex and masturbation. Also, the extra skin would provide you with additional "rolling" stimulation of your glans. Unfortunately for us who are circumcised our glans only understands THRUST, REMOVE, now repeat. Most intact guys don't use/need lubricant for vaginal sex and masturbation.<br /><br />If you've done/thought about all this and STILL feel like circumcision was a "good thing" for you, that's great (I guess) but before you go removing part of your son's body without his consent review the above list again and consider whether you are comfortable altering your son's anatomy and future sexual experiences for the sake of cultural tradition, to look like you, or to supposedly prevent diseases he will STILL need a condom to protect himself from.<br /><br />If you've done these exercises and are now pissed this was done to you without your consent, don't dispair. You can, eventually, restore your foreskin if you want to. Stay tuned for future blogs or check out www.tlctugger.comJeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4299230645606646130.post-87067620294931141352011-06-04T19:09:00.000-07:002011-06-04T19:23:35.950-07:00Top Ten Reasons not to circumcise#10: Circumcision removes healthy tissue that is attached to your child's penis for a variety of damn good reasons including creating lubrication during sex, protecting the ever-so-sensitive glans thus keeping it sensitive, and MORE...<br /><br />#9: Circumcision hurts your child. If you don't believe me watch a video of one. By the way this hurt goes on for a long time after the actual circumcision. I'm still hurting, personally.<br /><br />#8: Your infant son cannot give his consent for this surgery you are considering performing. Surgery, particularly one that removes healthy body parts, ought to have consent from the person on the table.<br /><br />#7: Fewer and fewer people are choosing to circumcise their sons in the United States. Yes, we're finally catching up with the rest of the world on that one. So even if you're worried about Jr. "fitting in" in the locker room (which I sure the hell am not) you may want to think twice before you sign off on genital cutting.<br /><br />#6: If you think Female genital mutilation is wrong you will want to do some brief study of anatomy 101 before removing your son's foreskin which serves many of the same functions as a woman's labia. All forms of circumcision are wrong and hurtful to children and adults.<br /><br />#5: Circumcision harms your son's sex life. Message me or others who are in process of restoring if you don't believe me. Better yet talk to someone who signed off on a circumcision late in life. There are some dramatic, um, changes to your ability to experience pleasure without your foreskin.<br /><br />#4: Circumcision is not medically necessary. Shouldn't we keep the body parts we're born with? Whether you believe in God or not you have to admit that the human body is a pretty amazing thing. I'm just not a big fan of cutting off parts of it willy nilly.<br /><br />#3: Circumcision does not prevent AIDS. This is just a bald-faced lie. Millions of circumcised Americans are living with AIDS right now. I'm related to one of them. Condoms and monogamy prevent AIDS. Circumcision does not.<br /><br />#2: Does circumcision prevent penile cancer? Hmmm. Do I really care? Penile cancer is extremely rare and besides we don't remove breasts, colons, ovaries, or prostates to prevent cancer even though those cancers are MUCH more common and deadly than penile cancer.<br /><br />and the #1 reason not to circumcise your child is (drumroll)<br /><br />Circumcision is morally and ethically wrong. You run the risk of your children not being happy with your decision when he grows up. Are you prepared to explain to him why you felt you had the right to sign off on cutting part of his penis off? No one has the right to alter/mutilate someone else's body without their consent. Circumcision will continue to decline and will someday become illegal. Consider being a force for change instead of a someone fighting it.Jeff in AZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008630175548804302noreply@blogger.com2